*sigh* I know I
have been severely lacking in updates, but my mind is all a tizzy with emotions
and such so that I cannot concentrate on being prolific or witty or even on
making fun of the world. Plus I
honestly did not promise regularity when I started the confessions page, so by
not making promises one cannot disappoint.
If you want regularity try Metamucil.
I will not go into the crazy mixed-up insanities going
through my head right now; this is not the forum for discussing issues that I
really need to work out on my own.
Suffice it to say that I am not sure about anything anymore. I am not sure who I am, what I’ve become,
where I’m going, or who’ll end up there with me. And this is my own self-inflicted hell. This was not brought on by anyone or any incident. Simply myself… being myself… always
questioning… always moody… always thinking…
The school year is in full swing and I am once again not
only saddened by the idiocy of many of my classmates, but also the lacking of
good professorship. I sit through
classes again where ego-infused instructors mispronounce the simplest of words
and lead the studentship down paths of bias and confined thinking. But as most free will has been suppressed by
the school system and religion by this point in most of my college colleagues,
perhaps these cattle go willingly into the world of mediocre thought and
unoriginal thinking. But I should be
careful as one of my classmates might make their way to my web page and perhaps
actually comprehend what I am implying here… hmm, not bloody likely…
This is not to say that there aren’t those rare instances of
creativity and original thought that spring through the masses of
unexceptional. The obsession oft
mentioned in the confessions posting seems to hold a spark of promise. But the droves of normalness, the epitome of
the meat-grinder produced banality Pink Floyd warned us against so many years
ago, the hordes of humdrum minds so overwhelm the campus that I am almost
saddened by it. What have we done to our
youth, for I am certainly no longer one of them in my ripe old age of 27, that
they are so ordinary…?
I suppose it is not just the youth of today that is so
disappointing, but they were the ones with promise. How could I ever hope that the world would produce more free
spirits when we are schooled in the same prejudices as our ancestors?
But enough ranting about the future leaders of the
world. I’ll just crawl back into my
world of confusion, indecision, and worry; I have enough issues of my own to
work out without contemplating how the world will be run in the future. Who knows where I’ll be tomorrow, let alone
by the time these hamburgers are running the place?
